Fear sometimes keeps an individual from doing something that could change their life for the good forever, yet it is sometimes hard to recognize, control and overcome. One of the greatest fears is rejection. We do not want to feel rejection so sometimes we will not follow our heart because of it. We also fear inadequacy not realizing that failure is a part of life. If we had no failure, we would be at a perfect state in life and that does not exist. Adjustments in life are many and about many conditions of our life to include but not limited to; relationships, careers, personal growth, becoming a better person, changing our concept of life, spiritual growth, learning how to cope with a disabled child, letting our kids fight their own battles and many other situations in life. We could discuss this issue very extensively but we will actually touch only a couple of things in this article.
I have seen parents have fears for their children and they want them to have the best, the absolute best, meaning no hardships, no interference in life, nothing to upset them; and I am talking about grown children. If something negative happens or someone says something they feel is prejudiced toward them, they are ready to jump into the battle without being invited. They have never let go and they need to let the Rejection thoughts subside and change their behavior. The children are not under their watch any longer and they cannot go through their entire life trying to fight life’s battles for their children. No one can make it through life without having conflict and no one’s children deserve this behavior and they are not enabling their abilities to cope with life. They will have struggles and they will have to work through them, themselves; and remember that to live in our world as it is; this is a phase of life where we learn about ourselves and others.
I am sure there is no perfect formula to prevent the fear of change or failure or the other emotions we feel. What I do know and have learned; is that when we make a decision to do something we fear; it gives us the power and capacity to do it. It is like once we make the decision and we become fully equipped to make it happen, so that means that our biggest fear is not that we can’t make it happen, but in wondering if it is the right judgment.
We could use as an example an unhappy partner needs to make a change regarding finances in the relationship. The situation is causing frustration and bickering; tearing them away inside and it has to be stopped. The guilty spouse is simply spending loads of money depleting their saving and being wasteful. The not guilty party is trying to be level headed and fears that the guilty party is being selfish yet knows this can’t be said; so they let it go. Where and how it is going to be resolved must be decided and acted upon.
First decision needed is to tackle the fear of confronting the issue with the guilty one which appears to be biggest issue. Being afraid it will only make things worse and be of no usefulness , does not make it go away. So if it is not resolved, it will become more intense and harder to repair. What exist sometimes is the approach and the method used to confront an issue of this nature and then sometimes it doesn’t matter how it is confronted; it doesn’t work. That is when an intervention of professional help could be deferment in a situation like this. It may be easy to work through but if you don’t try, you will not know and this stands true with any given change in ones life. We have to begin before we can resolve. We have to see the need to change before we take action, but we must take action. Once we see the need and let go of the fear we can find an alternative that may work. There is nothing in life that can’t be resolved with some kind of solution, it might not be what we desire, but not trying is the greatest failure.
